I was in a terrible mood today.
I’ve been working a lot and things have been crazy, so I have allowed my room to become the mess that it is.
Living in a cluttered, unorganized living space drives me CRAZY.
Cleaning my room this morning I was getting frustrated, sweating, and feeling overwhelmed.
My face has been clear for months now, but recently I’ve been breaking out.
My lips have been acting up again: swelling, dry and irritated. Complete with the red rim around the lips which looks like I just chugged a pitcher of red Kool-Aid.
I’m a hot mess, I haven’t worked out in weeks.
I’m going to Vegas for my sister’s birthday this weekend and I am far from feeling confident in myself.
I have a lot of errands to run in the next couple days, and hardly any time to do it.
I have to drive to Los Angeles late tonight after I’m off of work at 10. I have a dentist appointment early tomorrow there, but I have to drive back to San Diego immediately after to pick up my friend from the airport here.
Then I have to drive back to LA Thursday night.
I’m sick of driving, I’m exhausted. I’m over everything.
Then I get an email from my friend Jose. He is in Africa currently, specifically the capital of Burkina Faso, for Peace Corp. training. This is what it read:
Right now im in a hotel in the capital. We’re going to visit our actual sites this week. The place where we will be for two years. I’m in training right now at a smaller village but in September I will be relocated.I would rather not talk about the food here. Just be thankful that you have more than three choices for food in the U.S. haha. It’s actually fine but I tend to think to myself, I want a California burrito. Then I think, in 2013 I will have one.There are huts here but I live in a brick room with a tin roof. Bucket baths are a must but the stars are really bright here, so bathing outside is growing on me. Going to the bathroom into a hole outside is interesting. Especially during the rain. But everything here is great. Thanks so much for writing.
And then I think about all the things that were causing my so-called day’s frustrations, and I feel pathetic. As I should. It’s a beautiful, sunny day here in San Diego. Perfect beach weather. I am in good health, I have more than enough food here to eat at my disposal, whenever I want. I have CLEAN WATER TO DRINK. I have shoes on my feet. Clothes on my back. Plus a closet full. I can take warm showers whenever I want. I have an air conditioned house. I am in a position to work and make a decent amount of money.
Clearly, I have no reason to be frustrated, but every reason to feel blessed. And next time I feel like I’m having a bad day, I need to remind myself of this.
You’re right, we are blessed beyond measure. We should remember that every day and do everything in our power to change things for those who are less fortunate.
However, I think there are times when we must take a moment and feel how we feel. Without comparing ourselves to others or feeling their burdens. We have a right to our feelings and sometimes, it alright, for just awhile, to stop and feel them.
I hope that beautiful red rim disappears from around your lips and your skin is glowing in no time flat, your room is magically organized, your drive(s) to and from San Diego are safe and that you have a great time in Vegas. You should always be confident, you are a BEAUTIFUL young woman!