To live and love, not miss

One thing I’ve learned to do–something I’ve actively, consciously had to put into practice–is not to miss. I have said it before, but I am and have been well aware of the fact that I am a seriously nostalgic being. Combine that with the inability and reluctance of letting go, and it’s a dangerous combination. I long so deeply for fond memories that have passed, and I have realized in myself the tendency of allowing it turn into something sad and melancholy. I get so caught up in these feelings, drown in them, that it steals the present moment away from me. The more I’ve become aware of it, the more I realize what a shame it is. Because missing is a form of loving: an affair with past moments, with those shared in them; with those we find comfort and solace in, who feel like home when we long for it most. So why does this love, which is so positive and beautiful, have to be sad? Instead I take those things that I love and find its qualities in the now. The soul and warmth and bliss that I long to relive–that plays over and over in my mind, that I call to my dreams to replay–travels with me to the current moment. I absorb it, I see it, I feel it in my surroundings of right now. It is reflected in me and radiated outwards through me; and thus, shared with the new places, faces and souls I encounter. The melancholy missing’s turn into positive living, with a soul on fire and eager to share. I am happier, more alive in this moment, because it happened.

Though I am leaving today, my time in Bali is not done

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